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THE STORY
AUOT BECKY'S ARMY-LIFE.
BY
S.A.PALMER
SEW YORE:;,;?;;;;,;;^,.,
JOHN P.TROW &CO.,60 G E E E N ff 's 1'i EtiT.
1867.'.';"*;'/f'-
;';"',
f^y f1\t3^
THE NEW YORK
PUBLIC LIBRARY
:i 16443 A •
ASTOR,LENOX AND
TILDEN FOUNDATIONS
R 1927 L
Entered,according to Act of Congress,in the year 1857,by
•JOHN F.TROW,
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern
District of New York.
PREFACE
In presenting the following unpretending story
of tlie hospital-labors of Mrs.Sarah A.Palmer to the
public,it was thought best to give it the autobio-
graphical form,as it was found in her diary of three
months,and in repeated and extended conversations
with her almost daily during the period of its writing.
A full diary had been kept up to the occupation
of City Point as a hospital-base,but was lost with a
trunk of clothing,and never recovered.
She relies on memory for the date of many inci-
dents,and should they be found incorrect,begs it to
^be remembered in extenuation of the errors,that her
V,mind was so filled with the anxiety,and her body so
wearied at times with watching,that it would be
strange if everything was laid away in its proper
niche in Memory's store-house.
There is no gild of fiction over this plain story
;
the events are related as they occuiTed,and hundreds
will attest to their truthfulness,
IV PEEPACE.
That "Aunt Becky "was well beloved by the sol-
diers of the ISTinth Corps,numerous and unobjection-
able testimonials have been received.Said one sol-
dier,who served three years in his regiment,"I never
knew a woman so much thought of as she was by the
boys —she never showed any partiality—we all got
the same attention—officers no more than privates."
Said another,when asked if he ever knew a mat-
ron called "Aunt Becky,"in the Army Hospital;
"Know her—I guess I did —she saved my life ;"and
forthwith all business was dropped for the time,while
he hastened to hnd her home.
With no thought of publishing her hospital life,it
was suggested to her that she should do so,as a duty
to herself,that through its sale some provision might
be made for her future comfort.
"With health broken by exposure,and spirit sad-
dened by the many scenes of death which she wit-
nessed,and the constant sight of painful wounds,she
returned home,weary and worn,feeling,as she ex-
pressed it,"As though she had not had sleep enough
for years."Not even allowing herself a week for
rest,she went to hard and unremitting toil again.
It was talked of amongst the members of the
One Hundred and E^inth Regiment,that a memorial
should be presented to Congress,stating what her
serv^ices had been,and asking an appropriation of
PREFACE.V
two thousand dollars witli which to purchase her a
home.The "Story "had been thought of in the
meantime,and her reply was,"Let those who would
help me buy a book,and then they will get the worth
of their money.If I have done anything for my
country's soldiers,I am glad of it ;but Congress has
enough of its own little bills to pay."
!Now,with a heart too large for the slender frame
which holds it,no weariness is brought up as an ex-
cuse when a sufferer calls for aid,and her readiness
to watch by the bedside of the sick and dying is wide-
ly known,and many drafts are made and honored
upon the broad humanity which,although ''the feet
were worn through till blood wet the shoe soles,"has
not withheld its hand from those who asked and
needed help.
It was an undertaking from which many shrank,
because the cry was loud,"It is no place for women,"
and although many dared to brave the tide,few held
to post longer or more faithfally than she.Some
swept with silken trains through the well-kept hospi-
tals,ordering what should be done,and one,as she
held up her sumptuous riding-habit with her jewelled
hand,looking scornfully on the humbly-apparelled
woman who was dressing a painful amputation,said,
"That is no work for you."
But her heart said anything was her work which
VI PREFACE.
would soothe one throb of pain,and slie quietly kept
on with her task.
There is no high-sounding record of what those
women did,who,in plain,hoopless dress,recognized
as army nurses,on a pay of twelve dollars a month,
stood by the beds of death-struck soldiers—combing
out locks of matted hair,binding up their wounds,
and smoothing out the pillow when in the delirium
of pain they called for mother,wife,or sister.
Hers was a hand which shrank from no festering
wound,which recoiled not when the blood and dirt
of the deadly trenches bespattered the torn uniform
—she washed away the grime of battle smoke from
faces unrecognizable through the mask surrounded
with the locks of tangled and scorched hair.Her
hand fed with pitying gentleness many a one whose
good right arm,mangled by shot or shell,lay food
for the worms.Surely a reward should be due her
for this faithful toil,even if the pages of her story
failed to bring an interest to those whose hearts have
bled,and been well-nigh broken before the stroke of
battle.
Many were '•Unknown "who were brought into
those hospitals—perhaps it was her hand which closed
the eyes of him for whom you mourn —perhaps it was
her hand which helped to make decent the shroud
in which your noble one was brought home to you
PEEFACEr VU
60 silent and cold,after the bullet had done its fear-
ful work.
Many years will pass away,we trust,before
another desolating war shall sweep over our land,
but should the cry "To Arms,"again resound over
our hills and valleys,and our brave ones go to the
hot affray,may her example,and the record of what
one woman did to mitigate the horrors of the battle
serve to endow other souls with equal courage,and
when the Reaper sends his unripe harvest in,let there
be
"No dearth of woman's nursing
And no dearth of woman's tears."
With these explanatory lines we respectfully sub-
mit to a generous public,which will not fail to deal
fairly,the pages of this unpretending Story of Aunt
Becky's Army Life.
SYLVIA LAWSON COVEY.
Ithaca,N.Y.,May 10,1867.
CONTElsTTS.
CHAPTER I.
PAGE
Why this Story was written.—"It is no Place for Women."
—
Fulfilling the Promise.—Braving Popular Opinion.—How more
brave ones might have been saved.—A Memory in every
Household.—In the next Conflict.—Leaving Home.—Home-
sick Fancies.—Journeying to Baltimore.—The bare Shelf and
the hungry Mouths.—Welcome from the Boys.—The Box from
home 1
CHAPTER XL
My Work found,—Our Hospital Building.—Dreaming by the
Hearth-stone.—"She will soon play out."—Finding temporary
Board and Lodging.—Making a new Friend.—First Experience
in a Southern Boarding-house.—Washing "Pet's "Face.—The
Midnight Howl.—Taking new Quarters.—Kindness of the
Men.—Signs of Autumn.—Our Surgeons.—A slight Attack.
—
Hospital Fare.—Demise of the brindle Pup.—Good Gifts.—The
fatal Box 6
CHAPTEPv IIL
Proposals for Thanksgiving Dinner.—For the entire Hospital.
—
Requisitions for the Feast.—A doubtful Survey—The Larder
X CONTENTS.
PAGE
replenished.—Making Goodies.—Thanksgiving.^r-Table-cloths
and Napkins.—Absence of Mind.—Work for my Hands.—With
weak Lungs.—The Cure.—Moving the Hospital.—A Companion
once more.—The new Hospital.—Catchmg the Pigs.—Depart-
ure of Dr.Hunt.—Dr.Churchill takes his Place.—Departure of
Dr.French.—Kindness of Miss Deborah Lee.—The Sprmg-
time.—Her renovating Spirit 12
CHAPTER IV.
Our faithful Nurses.—The Nurse's Wife.—Yisit to the Soldier Son.
—What the Rebellion taught.—Going to Washington.—The
Glory of the Capitol.—The silken Fringe.—The cunning Hand.
—Does Gold gild Life and Thought.—Fair Faces and jewelled
Hands.—Sunny April.—Dying,dying.—Delirious.—"We will
be so happy when the War is over."—Taking Home the Dead.
—Our noble Commanders.—Visiting Camp.—May Blossoms.
—
Pickincj Geese.—The defeated Search ....-19
CHAPTER y.
Anxious Thoughts.—Chancellorville.—Northern Invasion.—Excite-
ment in Hospital.—Questionable Loyalty.—Preparing for the
Prison Pen.—The Sweep of the Whirhvind.—Army of the Poto-
mac.—Extempore soldiering.—Dying a thousand Deaths.—At
last the Earthquake.—Gettysburg.—Searching for Relics.
—
Burying a Horse.—Visiting the Wounded.—^No sudden Shock.26
CHAPTER VL
Beautiful Summer.—The Roast.—"Hide the Pig."—Partaking
stolen Sweets.—Death of Private A.M.West.—The desolate
Wife.—September Haze.—Longing for Home.—The flying
Visit.—Moving to Virginia.—Absorbing Nature of the Work.
Waning Autumn.—The Winter Campaign.—Chilly Rains.
—
Breaking Camp.—"Cheeking "it through.—The puzzled Con-
ductor.—Mason's Island.—A November Ride.—The Skeleton
Church.—Light Duty -..32
CONTENTS.XI
CHAPTER VII.
FIGB
A broken Regiment.—The Long Roll.—The surprised Enemy.
—
Ghostly.—A pleasant Joke.—Going out to Tea.—The Soldier's
Home.—Afternoon out.—'*The Molasses lick."—Going Home
without tasting the Sweets.—The Christmas Turkey.—The
lonely "Watch.—Fear of Death.—Brighter Skies and budding
Hopes.—A new Pield.—Death of a Nurse.—The loathsome
Pest.—The House of Cloth.—The priceless Stove.—The dying
Boy.—The House of Death.—The Doctor deceived.—New Bar-
racks.—White Dishes.—Visit from Miss D.—*'To the Front."
—Heart-sickness.—A Soldier's Life.—Joining Burnside.
—
"Good-bye,forever."—Remonitions of Death.—The living
Hope.—Heroes all.—A deserted Hospital.—A good Cry.—The
silent Breakfast 38
CHAPTER VIIL
Nearer the Regiment.—^Visit to Mrs.Youngs.—Dreams of the
Night.—Heard from.—The Wilderness.—The Tragedy of Death.
—Burning alive.—Dreadful Apprehensions.—Ordered to Fred-
ericksburg.—The independent Nurse.—That horrible Bonnet.
—
Denouncing high Officials.—The first Horrors of Battle.—The
hill-side Tent.—Dripping wet.—Dressing Wounds.—Journey to
Fredericksburg.—The dreadful Road.—Rain and Mud.—Re-
porting for Duty.—Assigned to the Fifth Corps.—Washington's
Home.—.'*I cut it with my little Hatchet."—Hard Tack and
CoflFee.—The Night in a Dish-closet.—Refreshing Sleep ..4*7
CHAPTER IX.
Haunted Nights.—Ghastly Wounds.—The bloody Trains.—Heroic
Sufferers.—The young Brave.—'*Going to sleep."—Waking in
Heaven.—"Died after the Battle was over."—Searching for our
Boys.—Badly cut up.—Fred Bills.—The last Promise.—The
narrow Bed-room.—"Buried in a Box."—The fortunate Dollar.
—Outrage on the Dead.—The final Shrouding.—The Search ,
XU CONTENTS.
FAGB
continued.—A faint Heart.—Lying low.—The Pillow of Stones.
—Raising the Dead.—'*Plagues of the Hospital "...52
CHAPTER X.
Finding new Quarters.—Our faithful Nurse.—Twelve Dollars a
Month.—Only a cheering "Word.—Life going out.—Another
Promise.—Content.—Unbreathed Words.—The rude Coffin.
—
Laid in the Grave.—The Resurrection.—Final Burial.—Bitter
Thoughts.—Sergeant Starkey.—The bloody Pillow.—Getting the
Luxuries.—Slow Movements.—Heavy Work.—Looking Thanks.
—Died of his Wounds.—No Change of Clothing.—Willie Lewis.
—My brave dead Boy.—All alone.—Humble Heroes.—The San-
itary Commission.—Horrors of Fredericksburg.—Bloody Feet.
—Yalley-Forge.—Heart-rending Cries.—Agonized Surgeons.
—
The scarred City.—Night Wind and Rain.—Spirit Music.
—
Home—Wife—Children.—Dirges.—The silent Boatman.—^But
little Sunshine.—More Wounded.—Depths of Despair.—"Char-
lie."—No more Love-letters.—"I think I am dying."—The
crawling Worms.—The Provost Marshal.—Leaving in haste.
—
Guarding Rebel Property.—The old German.—Feeding with a
Tea-spoon.—Almost let forth 58
CHAPTER XL
The long three Weeks ended.—Evacuation of the City.—Loading
the Transports.—The dreary Night.—Agony endured.—No Help-
not if they die.—The noble Three Hundred.—Leaving Fredericks-
burg.—The Trip to Washington.—Visiting the Hospital.—Find-
ing dying Men.—Duty done.—In the Dead-house.—My Rebel
Friend.—The human Heart.—Avoiding Conflict.—Reporting
again for Duty.—The Lizzie Baker.—^No more "Calico."—Get-
ting the Start.—"There they come now."—A stormy Sea.—Im-
patient Steeds.—Hunger's Claims.—Trusting for Food.—White
House Landing.—Desolate—desolate.—Last Year's Corn-field.—^The curved Back.—Heavy Dews.—Drenched Clothing.—San-
itary at Work.—Those little Streams.—The broad Bosom of
CONTENTS.XIU
PAGE
the Sea.—Again,Drop by Drop.—The old Wife.—Knitting the
Socks.—The coarse Hospital Shirt.—Tiny Pillows.—Sad as a
Funeral.—"Blessings on you."—Only a Blanket between.
—
Crumbs from the Table.—Our primitive Fire.—Sanitary's Store.
—Burnt Toast.—Worn out.—'*Will I—can I ever get well."
—
Not sorry.—"She will remember,"—The peaceful Death.—Novel
Hammocks.—Getting desperate.—Mush and Milk.—The colored
Tent.—The Boy Hero.—Sorrowing for Mother ...68
CHAPTER XII.
So much to do.—The strong Will.—Dead.—Gathering the Harvest.
—Shadow of Death.—Coward Fear.—Prisoners and starving.
—
The lost Colors.—The captured Color-bearer.—Only One return-
ed.—The Wreck of Manhood.—Rebel Sufferers.—The better
Part.—Another Brave.—Orders to move.—Making ready.—The
trampled Corn-field.—Looking out for Rations.—The boiled
Ham.—^Not enough.—So many Mouths.—Another Ham.
—
Some one had blundered.—Army wooing.—Looking out
for the Boys.—Complaints.—Nothing to eat.—The Storm.
—
"A Man overboard."—No Help.—Sea-sick.—Ten cents a Pint.
—Braving the Cooks.—The extinguished Fire.—The angry
Mate.—Aunt Becky's Protest.—The Victory.—The providential
Supply.—Opening the Boxes.—Questionable Authority.—
A
graceful Assent.—Fortress Monroe.—Fight of the Iron Clads.
—
The silent Dread.—Full Rations.—Pickled Cabbage.—Old
Friends.—Cannonading 77
CHAPTER XIII.
City Point.—A good Dinner.—The long mile.—A Motley Proces-
sion.—The Disappointment.—Return.—Weary—weary.—A pic-
ture for an Artist.—Sleep—blessed Sleep.—Viewing the Situa-
tion.—A bountiful Meal.—Our Work preparing.—Putting up
the Tents.—Five hundred strong.—Near Death.—Unrecogniz-
ed.—Hungry as Wolves.—Washing Faces.—Low Spirits.
—
Died at last.—Dr.Wheeler in Charge.—Good Fare.—No
XIV CONTENTS.
PAGB
Tongue can tell.—Masked.—No light Work.—"Are you Aunt
Becky."—Blind forever.—Noble old Massachusetts.—Her dy-
ing Heroes.—War's ruthless Hand.—Plenty of Beds.—The
Battle's Harvest.—The growing Com.—General Bumside.
—
Two Thousand.—Dr.Johnson.—Our Cooks.—The lessons of
Home.—Boy Soldiers.—Under the Knife.—A useless Rag.
—
My Fortress.—No Wish to leave.—Fortunate beyond Measure.
—Reposing on Laurels 86
CHAPTER Xiy.
Recurring Death-beds.—Bitter Sorrow.—Booming Cannon.—A Vis-
it to the Front.—The War Horse.—Falling off.—Graves of the
Dead.—Deserted Homes.—My Riding-habit.—The wounded
Man.—A horrible Fissure.—The kindly suggestion.—The old
Battle-field.—The Captain's Grave.—Greetings.—Poetry at the
Front.—"Missus,you'd better git out dar."—Deadly Missiles.
—
Hard Tack and Bacon grease.—The Sail on the River.—Guerril-
las.—Death of Mr.Wilson.—A Testimonial.—Division of the
Hospital.—Diminishing Stores.—A Printing Press.—Red Tape.
—Our Laundry.—^At the River Side.—The mysterious Coil.
—
The sable Dead.—Distributing her Effects.—A doleful Spirit.
—
Dancing and Prayer.—Wooing and Wedding.—An exasperated
lover.—The sudden Retreat 94
CHAPTER XY.
July Sunshine.—The bloody Thirtieth.—Making Room.—The burnt
Dress.—The welcome Weed.—Sending off.—A Soldier's Money.
—The Rebuff.—The persistent Nurse.—Victory final.—An
angry Surgeon.—Waiting for the Work.—Making Chicken
Broth.—A Sun-stroke.—Every Place full.—The improvised
Shelter.—The wounded Rebels.—Such piteous Moans.—The
little Drummer Boy.—"Mother will be alone now."—The noble
Dead.—^Li the better Land.—Still they come.—The unrecognized
Soldier.—Looking for the Wounded.—Broken Speech.—^A new
Hospital.—No Sweets of Friendship 103
CONTENTS.XV
CHAPTER XYI.
FACE
A Rumor of Change.—Bearing in Silence.—Our Mess-room.
—
Faulty Arithmetic.—The indignant Xurse.—Odd Bits.—Unsat-
isfied.—Chief Cook.—Bottle-washer.—A servicable Cloak.
—
Kicking a Convalescent.—Anger and Bitterness.—Lifted up.
—
No Thanks to him.—Sanitary Agents.—The Christian Commis-
.
sion.—The Flask of Brandy.—The dying Patient.—Poor Ex-
cuses.—Commissary Whiskey.—Dispensing Stores.—Testing
canned Fruit.—Man's Selfishness.—A rude Church.—The Dream
of Childhood.—A Reading-room.—Easy Toilet.—"Saratogas."
—Heart Entanglements.—"Now I have got you."—The faith-
ful Husband 109
CHAPTER XYII.v
Full of Sighs.—Youthful Heroes.—The last Game.—Death of Cap-
tain Lee.—The lonely Sister.—Taking Home the Beloved.
—
Lieut.Dupree.—Staying the Soul.—The Death-bed of Agony.
—
Through the brain.—Somebody's Pride.—The little Babe.—The
dead Father.—Blue Eyes and golden Hair.—The last Token.—
A crowded Tent.—The Chaplain's Visit.—Fatal Gangrene.
—
Dropping away.—The Captain's Loss.—Sergeant "Woodbury.
—
The Prediction of Death.—A nameless Grave.—The lovely Sum-
mer 118
CHAPTER XYIIL
•playing false.—The crazy Soldier.—The rheumatic Patient.—My
wasted Sympathies.—Cured.—Unacquainted.—The old Soldier.
—Thoughts of Home.—The kind Neighbor.—Going back.
—
Seven httle Boys.—Darhng Children.—Homesick Hearts.—Ba-
by Jumpers.—Brother Jonathan.—Sent off.—The angry Doc-
tor.—A dishonest Nurse.—Fife and Drum.—A dear Custard.
—
Degrading Manhood.—The lost Letter.—The confused Doctor.
—The Guard-house.—Liberation.—Trying the Soul.—Tied up
by the Thumbs.—Executions.—Obdurate Conscience ..124
XVI CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XIX.
PAGB
Change in Hospital Affairs.—Architectural Beauty.—Ceaseless
Work.—Size of a Louse.—Long Endurance.—Desperate Forays.
—Defeat —Defeat.—Convalescents'Recreation.—Legion.—Sul-
len Despair.—Up to the Front.—The stylish Turnout.—Washing
Day.—Reaching Camp.—Loud Demonstrations.—The Memory
of Oats.—Autumn Winds.—A sweeping Discharge.—Alone of
my Sex.—November Ram.—No Birds to leave us.—Nature's
free Gifts.—Naked Trees.—Active Operations.—Another Win-
ter South.—Rebellion still rampant.—Snow-flakes.—Recruit-
ing.—Ornaments.—The precious Cham.—Confiscated.—Pass-
ing the Days .132
CHAPTER XX.
Diary.—Longing for Home.—Only a little good.—Thoughts of my
Children.—Oh !for the Wings of a Bird.—Weakness of Women.
Entanglements of Habit.—Nature's Mistake.—Oh !for Strength.
—Bearing in Patience.—Wild,windy Weather.—Died this morn-
ing.—The Contrast.—Like a Leaf from the Tree.—Blessed
Healing.—Life's tempting Cup.—The Question of Peace.—Des-
olate Homes.—Tempered Joy.—Pig's Feet for Dinner.—The
Anniversary.—Fifteen Years ago.—Now.—Life's brief Dream.
—Those nibbling Mice.—Murder.—Johnny-cake and Onions.
—
Another "Victory."—An Invocation 136
CHAPTER XXL
Diary continued.—The Relay of Wounded.—Heroes all.—Distort-'
ed Limbs.—Old faces.—An exceeding Reward.—A Mother's
Children.—Common Soldiers.—Only a Ripple.—A hard Cam-
paign.—Something wrong.—A Season of Rest.—Waiting for
Work.—Oh !what Work.—A strange Life.—Raging Winds.
—
Sad at Heart.—Who will remember ?146
CONTENTS.XVll
CHAPTEK XXII.
PAGE
Diary continued.—Bright Weather.—A Bride.—Alas !for the
Tenderness of the Lover.—Looking afar off.—^Yearning for a
Sister.—Heavy cannonading.—Somebody's Dying.—Sick of sol-
diering.—Floating Kumors.—Hope springs exultant.—Singing
Birds.—Covetous.—Salt Messes.—Lords of Creation.—Small
Practice.—Nearer Home.—Dreaming of Comforts.—Mrs.Grun-
dy as Hostess.—Virtuous Indignation.—My Brother going
Home.—A May Morning.—A Chat.—Farewell to Winter.
—
Welcome Spring.—Rain—Rain—Rain.—Welcome green Paper,
—Fiirloughed.—The "Bull Pen."—Dander to Somebody .153
CHAPTER XXIII.
Diary continued,—Losing my Nose.—Building Air Castles.—Cheap
Material.—Something substantial.—Driven out.—Waiting for
the Letter.—Other Eyes shall read it.—With bloody Intent.
—
Tired—tired.—New Work for Rest.—Old Friends again.—Sum-
mery Days.—"All quiet at the Front."—Rainy Days.—A dis-
turbed Night.—Invaders.—Still raining.—Monotony.—Deserter
shot.—Visit from Miss Blackman.—An unsolved Problem .163
CHAPTER XXIV.
Diary continued.—Washing Day.—Another Death.—Oh !for the
quiet Burial.—Weary Thought.—Nearer the End.—No Hearts
to feel.—Bringing in from the Division Hospital.—Packing up
for a Move at the Front.—Heart-throbs.—Old Longmgs.
—
Sometime.—Wringing wet.—The wet Graves.—Rocked like a
Shell.—The Bugle call.—Clearing away.—Flight of Time.—
Childhood's Years.—Died for his Country.—^The renovating
Sun.—A gossipy Time.—Men Gossips \10
XVllX CONTENTS.
CHAPTER XXV.
PAGB
Diary continued.—Homesick—Melting Sounds.—The old Home.
—
General SLeridan at the White House.—A Letter.—Another
Battle.—Surprised.—Rebel Soldiers.—A selfish Heart.—^All
powerless now.—The suffering Lieutenant.—Tired and hungry.
—The Gun-boats near.—My Cross.—The raging Battle.—The
cheermg Columns.—The wild Charge.—Visions of Horror.
—
A useful Present.—Trying to sleep.—Sick myself.—A cowardly
Wretch.—Roused from their Lair.—Out of Man's Sight.—April
Skies.—A full Bed.—The Clangor of Arras.—The Wounded
brought in.—The Fighting continues.—Dreadful Suffering.
—
A hundred wounded Rebels.—Both Legs shot away.
—
Richmond
is ours.—Fourteen hundred Wounded.—The hushed Air.
—
More Deaths.—Pouring in.—Twenty-five hundred wounded Men.
—Dying,Oh!how fast.—Worn out.—The President.—"There
should be a Greenhouse yonder."—Sick of Folly.—Particular
Officers.—Flower Beds.
—
Lee has surrendered.—Our Chief lies
low.—Sad and in Tears.—Death of Private Carson.—Sending
our Effects to Washington 1^7
CHAPTER XXVL
Thinking of Separation.—Going up with the Wounded.—A com-
fortable Sofa.—The obliging Captain.—Riding on the Oat-bags.
The wondering Major.—Only Aunt Becky.—Death of Charlie
Morgan.—Bare Nerves.—Anxious women.—Jubilant.—Return-
ing on the Engine.—Our little Cut Throat.—The skilful Surgeon.
—No more Battles.—The Promise of Summer.—A little Gift.
—Drawing nigh.—Sad to part.—The Hospital Graveyard.
—
"Unknown."—Let them sleep where they died.—The Embalm-
er's Tent.—Three Months of Delay.—Deodorizing.—Unscrupu-
lous Fraud.—"Take me Home after I die."—The neglected Re-
quest ...........191
CONTENTS.XIX
CHAPTER XXVII.
PAGE
"Were we glad ?—Contradictory Souls.—The brooding Tent.—Leav-
ing City Point.—The Delay.—Still at the Work.-The unfortu-
nate Fall.—The Captain's Mother.—Wistful Eyes.—My Pay.
—
Unwilling.—Visit to Mrs.Youngs.
—
The ffe7itlemanly Paymaster.
—A Morning Call.—Paid.—Losing good Jobs.—Lately grown
Plumage.—Division of our Corps.—At Tenlytown.—Half sick.
—Waiting for the Tents.—Good Fare.—^A noble Woman.
—
Every States Man.—A miserable Spirit.—"Have you any New
York State Men under your Care ?"—Dampened.—Blessings on
its human Heart.—Meeting old Friends.—A beautiful Lamp.
—
The false Watch.—Milkmg the Cows.—The Great Review.
—
Some sad Hearts 200
CHAPTER XXYIII.
In daily Expectation.—Sanitary Distributions.—Our Share.—Not
Stealing certainly.—The Farewell.—Going to Washington.—No
backward Look.
—
Bound for Home.—Thoughts of the Dead.
—
Not one thousand strong.—Only a little handful now.—Two
left.—"Adieu."—The genuine good Heart.—^Piling in the
Stones.—Cheers for some.—The remembered Insult.—No Ra-
tions.—Loaves of Bread.—Dancing for Joy.—Tearful Eyes.
—
Youth and Beauty.—The ^Empire State at last.—Leaving the
Regiment.—HOME.—A Question answered.—The Token of
Regard.—A sacred Memory forever 208
THE STOEY
NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
CHAPTER I.
It is no record of bloody battles which these pages
are opened to detail ;neither do I purpose to depict
the horrible scenes of carnage which made the "Sunny
South "one red field of flame :only to show one
weak woman's work amongst the sufferers gathered
up from those dreadful slaughter-plains,and those
driven in sick and exhausted from the unwonted ex-
posure in camp and march,this work of recording is
beo^un.
Standing firm against the tide of popular opinion
;
hearing myself pronounced demented —bereft of usual
common sense ;doomed to the horrors of an untended
death-bed—suffering torture,hunger,and all the un-
told miseries of a soldier's fate;above the loud
echoed cry,"It is no place for woman,"I think it
was well that no one held a bond over me strong
enough to restrain me from performing my plain
duty,fulfilling the promise which I made my broth-
ers on enlistment,that I would go with them down to
the scene of conflict,and be near when sickness or
1
,^iM
2 THE NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
the chances of battle threw them helpless from the
ranks.
I found it icas a place for woman.All of man's
boasted ingenuitj had been expended to devise ter-
rible engines with which to kill and maim God's
o^YT\image;and if war was right,it was right for
woman to go with brothers,and husbands,and sons,
that in the time of peril the heart might not faint
with the thought of an untended death-bed in the
crowded hospitals,where no hand but the rough sol-
dier's should close the dead staring eyes.
It was something to brave popular opinion,some-
thing to bear the sneers of those ^vho loved their ease
better than their country's heroes,and who could sit
do^vn in peace and comfort at home,while a soldier's
rations,and a soldier's tent for months and years
ade up the sum of our luxurious life.
Had there been more women to help us,many a
brave man,whose bones moulder beneath the green
turf of the South,'would have returned to bless the
loved ones left in the dear old home behind him.
But all alone,while the shadow of the valley of death
was fast stealing over the numbing senses,his spirit
went back,and his white lips murmured words which
the beloved so far away would have given worlds to
hear ;and we heard them,but could not repeat them
fi'om the dying lips.
.It is past and gone.The long agony is over,and •
the nation breathes free.Yet hardly a heart or home
but holds the remembrance of some brave one,near
and dear,who gave his life to save his country's honor.
BEAVING POPIJLAE OPINION.3
On the battle-field they fell,in tented hospitals,
within noisome prison-pens breathed out the last
breath of life,and counted it no loss if the glorious
stars and stripes could but follow in the path which
they helped to clear with tired,blistered feet,and
blood dropping from thi'obbing wounds.
Should traitors again assay to grasp the helm of
state,and the cry go up for succor,while the legions
of young men spring armed from the North,let there
be no words of sneering spoken to keep back those
whose hearts go out with them,and who would gladly
leave home,and friends,and comfort,to follow the
brave one to the battle,and bind up his wounds when
the day was won,and his life fast ebbing away with the
gory stream,drawing,with every shifting sand,nearer
and nearer the fountain.Let no one say,if war and
its attendant sufierings be Christian,that where men
are in the midst of the dreadful work,"it is no place
for women."
The One Hundred and I^inth had been gone two
weeks,and I did not care to leave till the change
and exposure to which the raw regiment was unused
had wrought sickness,and made n\j presence needed
;
and September 3d,1862,1 left Ithaca,IST.Y.,in com-
pany with one of our men,who had returned with the
body of a comrade,killed by the cars while on guard-
duty along the railroad,at Laurel Station,Md.
It was one of those rare morniugs peculiar to that
beautiful month.Deliciously cool,with soft breezes
whispering in the tree-tops,then sweeping low to
shake from the s^rass-blades a million of diamond
4 THE NINTH COKPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
drops.'No bird-songs thrilled tlie still pulses of air
like those which charm the summer mornings ;the
deep hush of everything but soft-sighing winds seem-
ed to rush over me with overwhelming sadness,till
for a moment,as I thought of the two little girls
whom I was leaving motherless,I felt a wild desire to
return —a shrinking from tjie duties which I had un-
dertaken,and sickened at the thought of dressing
bloody wounds,of combing out hair tangled and mat-
ted with the thick gore —of being alone of my sex at
times in the camp of soldiers,whose trade was death.
Then better feelings took possession of me,and I
knew if they could suffer so much,and die for their
country,I could at least give some years of my poor
life in the attempt to alleviate their sufferings ;and I
took up my burthen of duties again,and watched
listlessly the changing scenes along the road.
The cool September morning ripened into the hot,
dusty day ;still we kept on our journey,arriving at
Baltimore,weary and hungry,on the morning of the
4th.
We went for a moment's rest and escaj)e from the
dust into the ladies'room,our empty stomachs sug-
gesting the roundness and thickness of the flakes ol
flesh which once clung round the bare ham-bone
lying on the shelf,and the probable age of the rem-
nant of cheese over which the sprightly skippers were
noting.
"We had no time to go in search of food,and our
lunch had long since disappeared before the ravages
of hunger,and soon were on board the cars again,
WELCOME FEOM THE BOYS.5
arriving'at Bladensburg at ten o'clock a.m,,finding
Co.G.,of the One Hundred and ITintli Regiment I^.
Y.Y.,my own band of gallant men.
Tlie greeting assured me that I was welcomed,and
when we unpacked the boxes of provisions which had
been prepared bj the hands of mothers,wives,and
sisters in the old well-remembered kitchens at home,
there was silence for a moment,as the heart of the
soldier throbbed with a half homesick feeling,then
beat again in its patriotic measure,and voices grew
loud and hilarious over "the box from home."
CHAPTER 11.
I WAS anxious to find my work,and in the after-
noon of our arrival,Captain Knettles went with me
to Beltville,where the hospital had been estabhshed
the day previous.
The building was an old three-story wooden house,
which had been unoccupied for some months,and was
in a ruinous condition.No fence separated it from
the street—no shrubs or flowers marked it as the
former abode of civilized men and women.The
kitchen floor was level with the ground,and laid in
brick ;an arched fireplace yawning its black cavern-
ous mouth at one end,and a similar one in the room
opposite,"which we used for a dining-hall.
I could romance as I wrought on the dirty floors,
and put my hands to the work of cleansing.I could
speculate on the joys and sorrows which had been
bom and nursed,and had died beside that hearth-
stone ;but the half hundred men who,sick mostly
with fevers and measles,lay on the damp,dirty floors—^no pillows for the restless head,no beds for the
aching body,nothing but the two blankets which each
had draT^Ti for covering,and pillow,and bed —all this
forbade long speculation;my heart ached for their
MAKING A NEW FRIEND.7
hard condition,and studied how best to make them
more comfortable.
I was ejed curiously bj the strangers in the hos-
pital,and overheard whispers of "She will soon play
out,"'*It's a new broom that sweeps clean,"as I went
into the work with a will.I laughed to myself,for I
knew my own strength.I had not come to the
South with any purpose of shirking my duty wher-
ever it lay.
They had provided no room for me,and I was
obliged for the present to find some place in which to
sleep and eat.I was fortunate enough to obtain board
and lodging at the next door,where my room was
with a crew of as hateful specimens of humanity as
ever had a stepmother do duty over them.
I returned to Co.G-.the next day,and stayed with
a Union family named Boughtnot,where I met with
a Mrs.Youngs,a cousin of Mrs.Southworth's,the
authoress,and to her I took an exceeding fancy.Al-
though "secesh "in principles,and her whole heart
in sympathy with the rebel army,yet 'she nursed
many a poor Northern soldier back to life,and gave
him again to his country to fight those she loved.
My return to the hospital,and the beginning of
its routine,was marked by my first meal at my new
boarding-house.It consisted of the favorite dinner
of boiled vegetables,and the seasoning of the whole
cabbage came on to my plate alone,in the shape of a
huge angle-worm,intact.
I thought,every one for himself,and ate my dinner
in silence,keeping down as best I could the rebellious
8 THE NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
upheavings of my stomach,which hardly relished such
sauces of the ground.
At tea-time,I got in before the meal was ready,
and found the mother holding the youngest "pet"
on her knee,making him tidy for the appearance of
the strange "hospital woman."
"Sisey "had put on her dishwater,like a thrifty
housewife,before the meal,and it being quite handy,
and "pet's "hair in tangles,"Ma "wet the comb
therein,that the cm^ls might more readily yield to
the gentle pulling process.That over,and the hair
in order,the dishcloth,which lay handy on the table
comer,was called into requisition,to wipe the dirt
from the little snubby nose and freckled face,greatly
to my disgust.
Think of it,when I was hungry,and waited for
my supper
!
All night a brindle pup belonging to the owner
of the house kept up its howling,driving sweet sleep
from my eyelids,and bringing to mind the old super-
stition,that death was waiting for some one without
those doors then following thought over to the hos-
pital,where,in the languor of fever,some were listen-
ing to the call.
For five days I endured the bad meals,and the
night's disturbed repose,when I told the steward I
could stand it no longer.The nurses gave me tlieir
own roofn,and fitted it up very pleasantly for my
accommodation.They were all so kind to me that I
felt fully repaid for all privations which I underwent,
and the consciousness that I was doing some good to
A.SLIGHT ATTACK.9
those sick and suffering men,soothed down the home-
sickness which would come,now and then,at thought
of children and home.
The Autumn was mellowing the tints of the trees
—the strange trees,and the bristling pines shot up
like lances against the blue sky,while I looked away
to the l^orth,and pictured to myself the fearful aspect
of the hills,and the low-lying valleys,while around
me the foot-prints of War wore plainly into the trod-
den dust.
Our trio of surgeons,consisting of Drs.Hunt,
Johnson,and French,were very kind to the men,
treating them like patients at home,willing and able
to pay the just fee for attendance,not as in after
months I saw men treated,while my woman's blood
boiled up,and run over —when a man was less than a
dumb beast,because if he died there was no market
value lost.
I had been in Hospital three weeks,when I was
prostrated with an attack of pleurisy,which kept me
from duty a few days,and I learned afterwards,that
serious doubts had been entertained of my recovery.
Had I doubted before in what respect and gratitude I
was held,I could do so no longer,when the inqui-
ries relating to "Aunt Becky's "situation came pour-
ing in.
My recovery was rapid,and again I went on duty.
Our food was substantial,consisting of bread,pota-
toes,pork,beans,beef,rice,tea,coffee,and sugar,
while by the kindness of neighbors we were often
treated to milk,eggs,and chickens.
1*
10 THE NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
Often,in the after months of our sojourn,we con-
trasted our fare at Beltville with the hard tack and
coffee,and,unseasoned as it was with luxuiues,it
seemed delicious indeed.
One by one our men died —no friends around them,
only some soldier comrade,so low in fever and delir-
ium as to be half unconscious also.My work was
hard ;—many a night I went to bed but not to sleep ;—^my pillow was coarse straw,and every motion
which I made in my restlessness,rattled its contents,
and sent up new bristling stems to thrust them into
my head and face.
At our next door—my old boarding place,they still
kept the howling brindle pup,and one day as I dropped
in for a moment,I chanced upon the final scene of its
brief career.Our steward had given him a dose of
something effective,and as his master was playing
roughly with him,calling him into his lap to show
his sprightliness,he leaped into the air —shuddered,
and fell dead.I shed no tears over his untimely
demise.
Our Chaplain made us a visit,bringing a trunk of
Hospital clothing from the ladies of Binghamton,
some fruit from Sanitary at Washington,and a firkin
of butter from Owego.The last was a seasonable
gift,—now we could butter the toast for our conva-
lescing m^en,while before we were obliged to use salt
and water,sometimes seasoned with a spoonful of
milk.
The clothing enabled us to change the fever-satu-
rated garments of our patients,and the fruit cooled
THE FATAL BOX.11
the parclied tongues of some who would never taste
the like again.
One of our fever-patients received a box from
home,sent in the kindly spirit which forwarded so
many tokens to the boys,but it proved his death.He
w^as recovering,and his weakened mind clung to this
last link from those he loved,and was content only
with the box beside his bed.I begged to be allowed
to keep it safely for him,but could not obtain his con-
sent,and he ate of the cake surreptitiously,rapidly
grew worse,and died.
Two deaths from Co.G.occurred about the same
time.
CHAPTER IIL
We proposed a Thanksgiving dinner,but Dr.
Hunt thought we could not get one up for the whole
Hospital,but I,being a private myself,was unwilling
to assist in cooking dainties for the officers alone,and
the matter was given over to me to manage in my
own way.
Four days previous to the day,I gave in my requi-
sition for the solid things which should flourish at the
feast.
My order was for two pigs,seven turkeys,'Q.ve
chickens,beef,rice for puddings,seasoning for pies
and cake,and with bread and vegetables,I thought
our table would be well furnished for the occasion.
We had one hundred and eighteen names on our
dinner-list,yet some were not able to eat a fall supply.
Matters began to look doubtful to me,as my order
was not filled at the time I wished to prepare them,
and the steward,with some of the boys,got permis-
sion to go out into the country,and see what they
could obtain.
They returned with wild and tame turkeys,and
pigs,and chickens,and we were soon on the high
road to success.
THANKSGIVING.13
Our pies Coleman and I made at night,and I cut
out two hundred biscuit,thinking bread would eke
out the supply,but we must have some of our home
fixings,or it would not seem like Thanksgiving.
Our cooks,Stillman,West,Quick,and Georgie,
prepared the vegetables,and Thanksgiving came.
Thanksgiving !How thought went back to our
homes in the l^orth,where the snow lay over the dead
leaves,on the sear grain fields,and on the orchard
paths,where the moss clung to the rocks and fences
along the way.In the dear homes,by the warm fires
they talked of us,who were so far away,and going
on,no one knew how soon,into the valley of battle-
fields,some—ah many,never more to set foot upon
those homeward paths,never more to cheer the loved
ones who would wait their coming till the certainty
of death broke the heart with its convulsive terror.
In the midst of so much preparation I could not
indulge much sadness,and a box arriving to me from
home,running over with just the things which I
needed to crown the feast—cake and butter,and
enough to go around withal,I felt a thankfulness
which was in strict accordance with the day.
Our men had an excellent dinner.The table looked
as homelike as we could make it by spreading sheets
over it,and the new tin cups and plates,with the
knives and forks,were laid neatly upon it.
We set the table for the oflicers in the steward's
room,also spreading sheets thereon for a cloth,and
the little handkerchiefs of cotton which the Bingham-
ton ladies had sent for the use of our sick men,we
14 THE NINTH COEPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
used for napkins ;—we were anxious to support some
style while yet in the regions of civilization.
Adjutant Hopkins,forgetting that we should need
them for the destined purpose ultimately,pocketed
his,and was called back to deliver it up,amidst much
laughter.They would soon forget the use of napkins
in the camp,and on the hard marches ;we could
excuse it if he had passed into partial forgetfulness
thus early in the day.
Col.Ireland of the One Hundred and Thirty-
Seventh ]Sr.T.Y.took dinner with us,and seemed
to enjoy the occasion.
I put my hands to all the work which lay in my
way ;—now washing —now mending—now making a
toast,or cup of tea for a sick man,yet the days were
long at times,and the nights endless,and sleepless.
And yet I was not sorry to be where I was,I was not
homesick—I would not have returned if I could.
Some jokes were perpetrated,and some patients
suspected of not helping ]^ature in rapid recovery,
—
still it was hard to think this of men who had done
all the duty thus far required of them.
We had one man who "did not complain of feel-
ing very well,"—his lungs were bad,and I proposed
blistering.He had few friends,for above all a true
soldier despises a sneak,and such we thought him to
be—whispering and drawing his face into unusual
length whenever he came near the steward or myself
—of whom he was a little in fear,having been told
that we were ''cross."
'Some of the boys in the secret said I would not
THE NEW HOSPITAL.16
induce him to submit to a blister,but I thought dif-
ferently,and proposed mustard at first,which hurt
some,but did not effect the cure,—he was still "weak
in the lungs."E'ext,a blister of Spanish flies,well
rubbed with vinegar to make it adhere,was applied,
and he was cured.
We were very tired of him before he went away,
but his blister served him one good purpose,when-
ever after that he was ordered to go on duty,all he
had to do was to lay his hand on his lungs,and he
was excused.
In the month of Jan.,1863,we were ordered to
move to Laurel,to join those sick at that place —our
hospital having been divided heretofore.The stew-
ard's mother was with us at that time,and once as^ain
I enjoyed the society of a woman,to whom I could
talk without restraint.So strange it had seemed to
me—no faces but those of bearded and mustached
men.
I was anxious to go,for those whom I had come to
the seat of war to tend in sickness were there.I took
the cars,in company with a Mrs.Bennett,on a cold
windy day,when the sun would peer at us by snatches,
while white clouds with inky borders,as though they
had dipped down into the troubled mire of earth in
their flight,went hurriedly over the blue sky above
us.
It was a dreary place to which we went,but I was
welcomed to it so heartily,and found my room so
cosy,I took it with a sigh of relief
Our hospital buildings consisted of an old store,and
16 THE NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
a two-story dwelling house.As we had but little to
move,only the precious sick,it took but a short time
to settle ourselves,and be at home in Laurel Hospital,
and our sick-list numbered on]y twelve men.
We were in the midst of a rich farming country,
and as we tired of our bare rations,the boys made
frequent requisitions on the neighbors,and drew a
pig,then a turkey,then a goose,using all strategems,
deeming them always fair in love and war,and the
people were only loyal as they stood in fear of E'orth-
ern bayonets.
Our cellar was open to the light of the sun,our
door having fallen in,and,like tenants who expect to
move in a week or so,and having no particular love
for the landlord,we had delayed repairing it.
The boys enticed two pigs into it one day,regaling
themselves in prospect of the delicious roast,which in
savory sweetness lay palpitating beneath the bristling
hide of the unthinking porkers.They had them nicely
captured,and accustomed to the place,when Dr.
Johnson was prompted by some spirit to go into the
cellar,and out ran a pig.He asked me how it hap-
pened—pigs in the cellar—and I,not knowing how to
account for it,said the boys must have concluded not
to keep their pigs over,but had driven them in pre-
paratory to the slaughtering.
Surgeon Hunt left us at Laurel,and Dr.Churchill,
from Owego,took his place.We were very sad to
part with him,for he had proved himself a kind,hu-
mane man —a friend to us all,and we had trusted in
him to do so much for the recovery of the sick.
THE SPEING-TIME.17
Dr.French went to Annapolis Junction to take
charge of some of onr regiment stationed there,and
our medical corps was sadly broken up.Our sick-list
swelled to thirty names,mostly down with fever,and
my brother amongst them,prostrate with typhoid
fever.
"We had enough to eat,and comforts for the sick
in a measure,and a box arriving from Sandy Springs,
a few miles distant,sent by a Mrs.Deborah Lee,con-
taining wine,jelly,and pickles,furnished cooling
drinks for the sick,and many a little bit of relish for
the convalescing.
Often we had chickens,and a cow would be milk-
ed by some unknown "fairy,"and the contents of
the pail deposited in our kitchen before the sun was
up in the morning.
March,which brought its bitter winds to our
l^orthern hills,came to us with now and then a clear
sunny day—a promise of the coming spring.With
every streak of golden light came a wild throbbing at
my heart,for battles would be fought again —the con-
tending forces only waited for the work of nature's
hand to begin again the carnival of death.When
her sweet breath had breathed life into the bud,and
stem,and tangles of bloom rose in the waste places
—then the blue sky with its fresh smile would be
clouded with the thick smoke of battle,and the ten-
der grass be dyed with the blood of human hearts.
How could the flowers open in those trampled dells
again,where under the blooming tangles the root
was yet wet with the gore of last year's carnage?
18 THE NINTH CORPS HOSPITAL MATRON.
But nature smiles,let man desolate as he will ;lier
kindly hand begins with every recurring spring-time
the work of renovation.The grass grows ranker
where some heart spilled its life blood,and where
some soldier's bones lie mouldering beneath,the grain
grows heavy in its unripened richness,bending its
tassels to the very ground.O !doth it not strive to
hide with its tangled beauty the devastation which
man's hand hath wrought ?
CHAPTER IV.
Death waited often at our door.Some lay very
low,while every attention which it was possible to give
was rendered unto them.Our faithful nurses wrought
over the sick-beds with constant fervor.Their
names —Jacobs,Gager,Robertson,and Stevens
—
will always be remembered by me,when somehow I,
like tbe rest of womankind,are apt to forget that
men may have tender,sympathetic hearts.
Jacobs'wife came to stay with her husband for a
time,and I highly appreciated her society,and re-
alized how much is always lost in the absence of wom-
en from any place where human beings congregate.
One young man named Raymond was very low,
and in the uncertainty of his recovery we sent for his
parents,who came on immediately.I had known
them before coming out to the army,and the familiar
faces were like a glimpse of home to the heart-sick
wanderer.
They remained a week,and left him recovering,
but how anxiously their thoughts dwelt around the
boy whom they were leaving in the care of soldier
nurses—the boy who had never known one hour of
sickness,—but his mother was beside him,to smooth